Changes


Changes come in all shapes and sizes; it could be something like passing a driving test, moving house, finishing school/uni or even starting a new job. Life is full of them, small changes, big changes and even some changes you do not even realise you have made until you have done it. Sometimes you as a person change and become someone new for the better but people can change for the worst. They change into someone you cannot recognise.

Don’t get me wrong, change is not a bad thing but it does depend on what the change is.  You can change and mature through time which is always a good thing, to become a better person. I have watched people change from who they were and into a completely different person. In one case, it scares me because I remember the conversations we used to have, the banter we shared and the mutual interests we had. It was almost overnight that she changed, one moment she was a carefree chatty and bubbly person who I did actually envy at one point into someone I cannot actually relate to. She is the opposite of who I am now and I actually miss the old her, the old personality. What is worse in my opinion is just the way she cut me off, and not just me, a few other people. She has become completely unrecognisable now and I know that eventually she will have no friends left. I don’t like the fact that she’s changed but I have accepted it, it’s been a while since I have actually checked up on what she is doing as opposed to a few months ago where I would constantly do it. My focus has changed and she is on my radar but she is not someone I dwell on anymore which sounds bad but its necessary for my own sanity.

I started my job in the summer that has just gone, a big change from the routine of university and I do miss university, not the assignments or the exams but the environment, the atmosphere and the people I was with. They say you meet your friends for life when you are at university and for me this is so true, I met my best friend through university, and at the time she only used to live around the corner from my parents. Imagine that, living in the same town as your best friend even though she was not actually my best friend at that point and passing each other in the street with no clue that we would grow to become such close friends. There isn’t a lot that I haven’t told her, she confides in me when she needs to and I do the same. We do not take the advice for granted. I have spent the past 2 months focusing on my job and getting everything done by deadlines and as a result our friendship has suffered as we do not always get the chance to even text each other but our friendship is strong enough now to endure this. We will have times where it will be impossible to see each other & other times where we see each other all the time. This is what happens in life and for the two of us, our friendship can endure it.

I only have a few people in my life that I trust with everything, these people have been there for me through so much and if anything, the changes in my life is due to their advice and guidance. I applied for my job about a year ago now and throughout the interview process, I had the support of my uncle, my father and my close friends. They pushed me when I was ready to give up. They gave me the boost I needed to make the decision to take the job and I do not regret it. I love my job, it gives me the chance to be able to do one of the things I really enjoy which is writing. I get paid to write, albeit what they want me to write but that is not a bad thing. Being restrained to a specific topic allows me to focus and not distract myself or even veer off the topic. Sometimes it makes me want to throw the computer out of the window but other times it gives me a focus, something that I really do need in my life.

There are some changes to come as well. Some changes that I am looking forward to but others that I am not. Change is inevitable. It will happen whether I like it or not, the best to do it is change the things I do not want in my life and to embrace those that are positive.

That’s enough of my psychobabble…till next time!

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