Anatomy of a Cyber Bully


What is a Cyber Bully? 

Following on from my previous post  I decided that there may be some people that have experienced online bullying without realising it.  Here are a list of actions that  Cyber Bullies do and by no means is the following list exclusive. A Bully will do any or all of these:

 

  1.  Befriending:  So your average CB would befriend you using social networking platforms. Then they would begin finding things out about you, usually personal details.  
  2. Spreading Information: Putting themselves forward as people to trust and then they would use the personal details to post negative or hurtful stuff about you.   Either in conversations with others or on online platforms.  This could take the form of comments to even pictures, videos and memes.  They could even invent false identities to spread rumours about you.
  3.  Getting backup: They would usually create “people” around them that agree with them so they could have “back up” when they post stuff.  Having the “support” of other people gives them the added, but false confidence that they are somehow in the right.  Ganging up on a victim by making the person the subject of ridicule in online forums, hacking into or vandalizing sites about a person, and posting false statements as fact aimed a discrediting or humiliating a targeted person
  4. Power Games: They would  take turns to ignore you and then become ultra friendly to create feelings of insecurity.  

    When confronted with their behaviours it is never their fault. Even going as far as saying that you should never have told them personal stuff, trying to turn it around.

     They would say things like: you can trust them and that they are your friends and then the next they would disappear on you leaving you insecure. 

All these actions are about controlling you and making you feel belittled and insecure.  They have to be in a position of power over their victim. For whatever reason  that they have become bullies they feel that they need to be superior over you, even possibly it is that they fear you, that you have something they are jealous over.  In order to combat the negative feelings they have they target you and make concerted efforts to disrupt your life, causing hurt and confusion.

As mentioned previously cyber bullying has lead to individuals taking their own lives and in no way should the effects of it be shrugged off.

How to prevent the Cyber Bullies:

Do not give out personal information to people, even if they act like your friends.  As a guide about what is personal information consider how you would feel if the information was made public. If you would be unhappy with the information spreading then keep it to yourself.

Tell someone what is going on.  It’s simple, if you keep silent then no one can help you.  I know that you may feel stupid for getting involved with a bully, that you have all kinds of negative feelings going on. Seeking help is a positive first step but more than that, just voicing what is going on will help you make sense of what is happening.

Take screen shots or print out the evidence. A bully will deny what they are doing. They will insist that they are doing nothing wrong.  The evidence backs you up. It supports you. Can you see the difference in those sentences I’ve just typed?  The bully is negative, their actions are negative and your actions especially in keeping the evidence is positive.

Contact the site where the bullying is taking place and report it. Don’t accept that the site can’t do anything. This is not true. Bullying and anti-social behaviour is against the sites rules and regulations and you are certainly within your rights to get stuff concerning you removed and the aggressors account removed/blocked.   There are legal actions and ramifications if the site doesn’t comply with your request or ignores your report that you can take.

If  after reading this you believe that you or someone you know has been bullied then you can get help. Don’t suffer in silence.  Don’t think that you are alone.  The bullies want you to think that, to think that you have no one but it’s not true.  There are organisations you can turn to. If you need help contacting them then you are welcome to leave me a message here . 

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