Labels


Labels

Labels exist in many forms and whilst they are what is considered to be normal, that does not mean it is acceptable. Recently we lost a much loved actor and comedian Robin Williams. He committed suicide because he was depressed. He had been depressed for so many years and he like many other people in the past reached their breaking point. Robin reached that point and felt that he had no other option but to end his life. Robin Williams said that “suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems”.

I have heard several people label him as selfish and a coward because he chose to end his life, now I am going to make this clear, suicide is a intentional act to kill themselves but it is also a cry for help. Sometimes the victim succeeds and loses their life but other times they survive and it is a wake up call for them to seek the help that they need.

Robin William brought so much laughter and joy to generations of children and adults. He is and always will be one of my most favourite actors. His portrayal in Mrs Doubtfire is one of my favourites childhood films. He is without a doubt a very clever and talented actor but even famous people who have everything can suffer from depression, which is a mental illness.

Depression doesn’t discriminate; it can affect anyone and everyone. I implore anyone who is depressed and cant find a way out of that depression, to seek help, to talk to someone and get help. Some members of general public can look it upon as shameful but until they have walked a mile in your shoes, they will never ever be able to judge you. Some people who have never been depressed also can never judge you but they can be good for listening. People are human, and depression is a human illness, it is also a mental illness but if you need help. Please seek it!

Robin Williams made a choice and now he’s at peace from the demons that haunted him. It just goes to show, a man who made so many children, teenagers and adult laugh and smile with him was hurting so deeply that he felt no other option. It is in our human nature to judge people as soon as we meet them but we can never presume to label someone for this kind of act. Until we reach that point and I hope none of you feel the emotional pain that leads to suicide but until we theoretically do, we can’t judge another human being for doing that. Everyone has a right to their views, I won’t say you cant do that but please don’t label people. They are not you and you are not them either.

I don’t see Robin Williams as a coward, I see him as a man who struggled and in the end felt he had no choice but to end the pain and to finally feel some semblance of peace. 

Don’t remember him for his death but remember him in his films, every time you go and watch a film of his, smile and laugh with him, and I am sure he will be laughing along with you. Let his legacy carry on with laughter and smiles, repay him back by smiling and laughing.

RIP Robin Williams. We all miss you. You’re gone but never forgotten. Make Him laugh up there too!

Now to end this post with my favourite line from Mrs Doubtfire:

“You know, some parents, when they’re angry, they get along much better when they don’t live together. They don’t fight all the time, and they can become better people, and much better mummies and daddies for you. And sometimes they get back together. And sometimes they don’t, dear. And if they don’t, don’t blame yourself. Just because they don’t love each other anymore, doesn’t mean that they don’t love you. There are all sorts of different families, Katie. Some families have one mommy, some families have one daddy, or two families. And some children live with their uncle or aunt. Some live with their grandparents, and some children live with foster parents. And some live in separate homes, in separate neighborhoods, in different areas of the country – and they may not see each other for days, or weeks, months… even years at a time. But if there’s love, dear… those are the ties that bind, and you’ll have a family in your heart, forever. All my love to you poppet, you’re going to be alright… bye bye.”

R.I.P Robin..

 
 

Ramadan


Ramadan

I am back with a small entry about Ramadan, I will enlighten you as to what is Ramadan to those who may not know what Ramadan is all about. I don’t know if many of you are aware of what Ramadan is or the customs around it but I have recently just started fasting for the month of Ramadan.

Ramadan is the ninth month of the Islamic calendar. The main thing people associate Ramadan with is the fact that Muslims are not permitted to eat or drink from sunrise until sunset. However it is not that simple, Muslims also are not permitted to smoke and other ill-natured activities that will take their focus away from Allah (swt). Ramadan is a time to focus on their religion and spiritual closeness with Allah (swt). It is a month of self restraint. Restraint from everyday enjoyment and curbing wicked intentions and cravings are considered as an act of compliance and obedience to God, as well as amends for sins, faults, and mistakes.

Now for me personally, it is a chance to rid myself of worldly desires and to focus on the spiritual side of my religion. I am not perfect and I don’t claim to be but I am determined to use the month in order to better myself as a Muslim and also as a human being.

Fasting is one of the five pillars of Islam and one of the main types of worship within Islam. Also during Ramadan, Muslims request forgiveness for sins in the past, pray for direction and assistance in abstaining from everyday troubles, and endeavour to cleanse themselves through self-control and great acts of faith.

Every year the month of Ramadan goes back by 10 days dependent on the moon. The lunar cycle determines the Islamic calendar and so that also determines when Ramadan starts. The month of Ramadan lasts about 29 to 30 days, it will only end once the next new moon has been spotted and confirmed.

Fasting is compulsory for adults and children over the age of 12. It is a time to get closer to God and the chance to seek forgiveness and rewards to better themselves and solidify their closeness with God.

The month has only just started so I will not go into a lot of details because it is too early for me to say how much of a change Ramadan has been for me, I will be back once the month is over and enlighten you all.

Thanks for reading!

Signing off for now!

Bye!

Judgments


Judgments.

It is in our human nature to judge people as soon as we meet them.

From a passing glance we assume that we know intimate details about that person; that we like them or not, dependant solely on what they look like, how they walk, what their gestures are or how they talk. My question is simple, why do we assume that? Is that fair? Doesn’t the person deserve a chance to show you who they are, supposing it’s not someone in the street that you are walking past, it could be a new work colleague or someone that your friends have introduced you to. What if you are going to be spending more time with them you are now reliant on that first judgement?

I am guilty of judging people when I first meet them and allowing that first opinion to cloud my relationship until one day a person actually called me up on that and made it clear that I was being unfair, I was 18 at the time and doing my A-Levels so the message didn’t sink in. In hindsight I should have taken more notice of what I was doing, how I was pigeon-holing people but I was so focused on my life, I forgot to take into consideration how my actions affected other people. To be fair, I did have a lot on my plate at the time, but now I appreciate and acknowledge that what I was doing was wrong, and funnily enough the person who told me off, is now one of my closest friends so it was not all bad.

Social networking is used to judge people without truly knowing them; you look at their profile picture, and automatically make an assumption about them. Are they family pictures, cute pictures or what if they have no profile pic, are they not very good looking (I could phrase it in a much more demeaning way but that’s not my style). On the other hand if people have their profile inundated with pictures of themselves in various ways, on the beach, in their houses, schools and other areas of their life, we may even call them vain, self-centred and egotistical. There is even the rise in the amount of ‘Duck poses’ on the site. These are where girls are posing in front of the mirror and pouting as they take self-shots. They are usually accompanied by questions or comments on how they aren’t pretty yet are immediately slammed for the pose, the clothes they are wearing, or in some cases not wearing! It is demeaning for us to have to see it but at the same time it is their choice, they do have a right to choose what it is that they want to put on the social networking profile or page.

You may be thinking, ‘well everyone does it.’ True pretty much everyone makes snap judgements and they have a choice to do that but if you know that you are prejudging someone and not giving them a chance, is that at all fair? In their shoes would you like someone judging you?

Twitter is a different matter, most of the time I use twitter is to post sarcastic tweets and to follow or if you like, stalk people, I am not dangerous but how can people know that unless they know me?

On Twitter, everyone has the right to post what they want regardless if it is inappropriate, and where no-one has the right to tell you what you can and can’t do, however refraining from posting is a better idea than just freely and randomly posting very personal information about yourself. Do you really want the world to know your intimate details and every little thing about your life?

This is when making the right judgment is very important. It is perfectly acceptable (according to Twitter) to post what you want, ‘Freedom of Speech’ but when you do so you should bear in mind and remember that there are children on there. Kids as young as ten are using twitter to follow their favourite bands, celebrities, footballers etc.

This leads to the question, how can you know that the person behind the screen is actually who they say they are? This is when Internet safety is really important for example, the Internet can be a wonderful resource for kids. Kids who are old enough to punch in a few letters on the keyboard can literally access the world.

It can also be dangerous, say for example, an 8-year is on Google, a normal search engine and they decide to Google Lego but they type it wrong and ‘legs’ is what is entered into the search engine. The images of ‘legs’ that come up from that search can range from safe to extremely graphic. Another click of the mouse can also lead the child into website that incorporates pornographic material? Kids have a variety of way that they can access the Internet from smartphones, laptops and tablets such as an iPad.

It is an excuse IMO for the parents to have some ‘quiet’ time and leave the kids to their own devices. However how can you know what the children are actually doing on those devices? I understand allowing your children to have some freedom and alone time because everyone needs that at one time or another but there is a line between using the devices as a ‘babysitter.’ Some children even have laptops and phones in their rooms so their sleep is affected, personally I would never let anyone in my family who I was responsible for have their laptop in their room at night. I am sure some of you are asking ‘why?’ Well, firstly who knows what they are doing, whether they are just playing games and dawdling on the internet, or if they are chatting up a man or woman who is older than they actually claim to be. Secondly, if you are up all night, then you cannot function properly in the daytime especially at school, university or work. I understand sometimes, you cannot sleep so you use the internet to pass the time, I have no problem with that, I do that myself, I use my phone at night if I can’t sleep or don’t feel tired but I have my limits, if I am tired and have an early morning, I will sleep. I am sure some of you feel the same and others may not. This blog post is not designed for you to agree with. If you do agree, then great but if you don’t, then that’s your prerogative; there is nothing wrong with it either way.

Now lets think about an 8year old with an iPad or a tablet where you can download apps and then make in app purchases. I have read several articles about how children are buying things in the app up to the tune of £2000 or even more than that. I don’t understand why the parents don’t just either make it so you have to put in a password every time a monetary purchase is requested and more importantly do not give the password to your child. If you are going to give it to them then IMHO you deserve a large credit/debit bill!

Technology should not be a babysitter for your children, spend time with them. Go to the park, get a trampoline, go bowling, or even for a picnic. The more time you spend with them, the less reliant they are on technology. Do not allow them to become couch potatoes and staying in all day. That is not life, at all. You need to focus on the child and make sure that they are happy, because if they are happy then you can be happy as well. Be a parent, do the best for your children and if they are using internet, make sure they are safe.

Thanks for reading, if you want to debate some points with me, or have any question, then comment. I do not bite!

Till next time!

Changes


Changes come in all shapes and sizes; it could be something like passing a driving test, moving house, finishing school/uni or even starting a new job. Life is full of them, small changes, big changes and even some changes you do not even realise you have made until you have done it. Sometimes you as a person change and become someone new for the better but people can change for the worst. They change into someone you cannot recognise.

Don’t get me wrong, change is not a bad thing but it does depend on what the change is.  You can change and mature through time which is always a good thing, to become a better person. I have watched people change from who they were and into a completely different person. In one case, it scares me because I remember the conversations we used to have, the banter we shared and the mutual interests we had. It was almost overnight that she changed, one moment she was a carefree chatty and bubbly person who I did actually envy at one point into someone I cannot actually relate to. She is the opposite of who I am now and I actually miss the old her, the old personality. What is worse in my opinion is just the way she cut me off, and not just me, a few other people. She has become completely unrecognisable now and I know that eventually she will have no friends left. I don’t like the fact that she’s changed but I have accepted it, it’s been a while since I have actually checked up on what she is doing as opposed to a few months ago where I would constantly do it. My focus has changed and she is on my radar but she is not someone I dwell on anymore which sounds bad but its necessary for my own sanity.

I started my job in the summer that has just gone, a big change from the routine of university and I do miss university, not the assignments or the exams but the environment, the atmosphere and the people I was with. They say you meet your friends for life when you are at university and for me this is so true, I met my best friend through university, and at the time she only used to live around the corner from my parents. Imagine that, living in the same town as your best friend even though she was not actually my best friend at that point and passing each other in the street with no clue that we would grow to become such close friends. There isn’t a lot that I haven’t told her, she confides in me when she needs to and I do the same. We do not take the advice for granted. I have spent the past 2 months focusing on my job and getting everything done by deadlines and as a result our friendship has suffered as we do not always get the chance to even text each other but our friendship is strong enough now to endure this. We will have times where it will be impossible to see each other & other times where we see each other all the time. This is what happens in life and for the two of us, our friendship can endure it.

I only have a few people in my life that I trust with everything, these people have been there for me through so much and if anything, the changes in my life is due to their advice and guidance. I applied for my job about a year ago now and throughout the interview process, I had the support of my uncle, my father and my close friends. They pushed me when I was ready to give up. They gave me the boost I needed to make the decision to take the job and I do not regret it. I love my job, it gives me the chance to be able to do one of the things I really enjoy which is writing. I get paid to write, albeit what they want me to write but that is not a bad thing. Being restrained to a specific topic allows me to focus and not distract myself or even veer off the topic. Sometimes it makes me want to throw the computer out of the window but other times it gives me a focus, something that I really do need in my life.

There are some changes to come as well. Some changes that I am looking forward to but others that I am not. Change is inevitable. It will happen whether I like it or not, the best to do it is change the things I do not want in my life and to embrace those that are positive.

That’s enough of my psychobabble…till next time!

Writing, writing and writing!


So I am back! Now someone who I now work with who knew me back when I started uni asked me whether I was still a bookworm and into my writing. My answer was yes and then he proceeded to ask me why. I found myself explaining exactly why it is that I love writing, why I love reading and why ultimately I am a bookworm. So here is another of my crazy yet zen rants..read on!

Writing is something I really love doing, it can be just because I have too much going on in my head and I need a platform to get it out. I write as part of my job and while I love my job sometimes I come home and feel too tired to even try to write anything else. This is half the reason I have stopped writing fan fiction because my brain is simply too tired to think and create a chapter. Sometimes I read books and I instantly feel like writing. A book can inspire you, you can get lost in their world even if it is just for a short amount of time. Escapism used to be the main reason I read books, my childhood was different to say the least from most people but books was something that is unique to me. No one in my family loves books as much as I do and they indulge me. The amount of times they get me books and don’t complain if I sit on the couch or in my room reading for hours. My friends, some of them don’t get why I love books which is why about 2 years ago, I stopped reading books for about 5 months when I was dealing with my A-levels. I realised that something was missing for those 5 months, at first I didn’t associate it with the fact that I had stopped reading but when my mother bought me a book written by John Grisham, I found my interest in reading come back. It was only then I realised books was something I cannot cut out of my life for too long, it makes me a different person, I suddenly am no longer myself.

I officially started writing however in 2005 but I admit I was crap at it, I have been looking at my old ‘starting’ stories compared to a fan fiction trilogy I wrote last year, and I can see how much my writing has evolved and changed. I am no expert but I feel like my writing goes from strength to strength, partly because my job is all about writing. I have always asked people for advice in the past about my stories, how can I make the story flow or is this a good idea for a story…but lately I have struggled to write but I never ask anyone for help or advice on how to get my mojo back. For the last 2 months, I have decided that the current fan fiction I am writing, will be my last solo fan fiction for a while but yet someone asked me yesterday, why did I decide that? My answer was simply; ‘I have no desire to write anymore fan fiction, I have no enthusiasm to write’. Since then I have been thinking about writing and the reasoning behind my decision because writing is a big deal to me, it’s part of my life. It is something that I have done for over 7 years. In a way, it is a world I can escape to when real life gets me down or is just too much for me to deal with. In a way writing and reading is my escape route, people know if I am writing or reading, that I rarely talk unless I feel like it. It does at times come across as rude but that is never my intention, I just enjoy that time too much to let other things get in the way.

Once upon a time, all I would read were action books where there was something happening or fantasy books such as harry potter. I remember the first time I read Harry Potter, I must have been about 11 or 12, and it was a time where I was overwhelmed with life and adjusting to a new school, a new area. My father gave me the book and at first I turned my nose up at it. (Yes, to Harry Potter!) However with a little bit of encouragement and a quiet Sunday in December, I started reading it and I loved it. Since then I have read each book and watched the films more times than I can actually count. It is a film saga that will stay in my heart because it introduced me to a world of books and I grew up with Harry Potter. I then started reading books by various authors such as Jacqueline Wilson, Malorie Blackman and then later on Meg Cabot. From then on, books were my thing, my brothers had their hobbies which they indulged in such as martial arts and one of them used to draw still life and landscapes but for me it was books, every birthday I am almost guaranteed to get a book for a present, and far from it being disappointing, I actually love getting them. Though for about 3 years, I have been reading a lot more Mills & Boon, mainly the modern series but with a few medical ones thrown in. I can’t explain what it is like to read a book and never want to stop reading until you have finished it.

One of my favourite authors to date is Jodi Picoult. Her books are about real life, about situations people find themselves in and just how they try to overcome those problems. I felt an instant connection though I haven’t read her latest release yet. I have it waiting on my bookshelf, just haven’t actually read it. Books, books, books… I cannot see my interest in books ever disappearing completely but I do know that there will be times where I will not read books for a while only then to get my interest back. It is for me certainly, the way it has always been. I never expect other people to get why I love reading so much or to even be the same as me because to be honest, that would be boring.

I do tend to get passionate about books and I even just finished the ’50 shades of grey trilogy” and to be honest it is not written well at all but there is something about that trilogy that I do actually like. I know for a fact that there are better stories out there, I read them quite regularly but at the same time, I also know that some people do actually enjoy it and enjoy the story, which is good for them, but for me personally, I can’t muster up the same kind of enthusiasm as other people. It might just be me but I am not a big fan of it and to be fair I will never be a die hard fan but despite that I don’t regret reading them, they are stories that is not to my liking but then that is the way it goes sometimes, it may not be my cup of tea but it is someone else’s.

I can go on for hours about writing and books, that is how much they have influenced my life, I will always love reading. I can’t and don’t want to lose that passion…which is why even though I am planning a break from writing stories, I will not stop permanently. Books and writing will be two constant things even if I do stop for a while. Moral is if you enjoy something, do not let it disappear, take a break if you need to but do not let it disappear..

 

That is my lot for now..signing off!

 

Till next time 😀

 

I’m back but for how long?



So I am back after a long hiatus, I am sure some of you have seen the about page and the ‘blackmail’ part but I am not that bad. Not all the time… Hopefully my blog updates will be more regular here I am again, so if you do not want to hear my crazy rant about anything and everything. I advise that you turn your head now and find something else to read otherwise read on!

Since my last blog post, I have been using Twitter a lot more. I tweet a lot about my day, post quotes, post sarcastic comments, I even stalk some people’s Twitter especially one of my favourite writers who has a new book released in March… I don’t use it to the same extent as I use Facebook or any of the other sites that I use for writing and graphics. Facebook is a way for me to get in touch with my family, to get updates on my friend’s lives and also to play games. It is a universal social networking tool in my opinion. I also use Instagram for photos and linking them to Twitter and Facebook. Someone did ask me a question about 2 weeks ago. ‘Why do you use Facebook and Twitter?’

My answer was this; I use Facebook to keep in touch with my friends and I use twitter to let people know what I am doing or how I feel, or just because I am bored.’ We ended up talking about the other hobbies I have like reading and writing. Now anyone who knows me knows I am a bookworm. I love reading; it can be anything apart from Shakespeare! (I am trying to get into him though). I also love watching TV though I have sort of got into the habit of watching everything on a weekend, which tends to annoy my brothers because they don’t get the chance to watch football but it’s something that I do, and something they have to accept.

Now I have seen so many people on Twitter talk about boy bands which I find nauseating…some of the things they spout makes me physically feel ill but each to their own, I have learnt to avoid those accounts so if you add me and tweet like that, I will unfollow you, it’s for my own sanity if nothing else.  There are some days I avoid both Twitter and Facebook, sometimes it is because it just feels mundane and pointless but other times, it is because I am so wrapped up in other things, I forget to check it or to talk to people with it.

I have spent a long time from September to October rewriting my dissertation, I failed it the first time around and I used Twitter as a ranting platform, it definitely made me feel better and it meant I did not take it out on my family which I am sure they appreciated. Upon getting my results, it didn’t sink it that I had actually graduated, it was only a text off a special person in my life that made me realise I had done it! Again this is something that made me realise just how much my life has changed, this time last year, I was aiming to be a teacher and to go into education. Why did I change my mind? I simply realised I had enough of education, I went through about 18 years of it  and decided enough was enough, so I went into script writing. Now I love writing but lately I have lost the passion to write, so many things have disrupted my life and so I find myself dealing with that and not being able to write. Things are finally settling down so I found myself a few days ago writing something other than fan fiction. It was an original story albeit short but at the same time, it was my characters, my plot, my thoughts and feelings poured in. I have no plans to post it for others but at the same time, I do know that I want to be able to write more like this so other people can read it. It has made me more passionate about writing, and linking personal feelings to a story actually does make me feel so much better. I will not stop writing fan fiction but I am going to write more original stories for my own personal enjoyment before I think about possibly posting them somewhere.

Now onto what is going to happen, well I cannot see into the future but I do know what I want to happen. I won’t divulge yet as some of it may and probably will change, who knows but I feel positive, for the first time in months. I can see myself being happy. I know there will be times where I feel down and in the dumps but I know for a fact that I am not alone. I have never been alone, I just never realised that I had people there who really cared about me. Now one last thing before I go and do something other than talk about myself (that will be hard 😛 ), 2012 was a year of changes, and 2013 will be better. I am sure I can make my life better than it is, so much is up in the air but that is life, you can never predict what is going to happen next but you can have fun trying to. I will say one thing though, I know I will be happy because I am in control of my life, I can’t control what people say to me but I can control the way I react to people. I am in control, you all are of your own lives, if people are hellbent on hurting you then you have to as hard as it is, let them go, focus on those people who actually do want you in their lives, they are the people who are truly worth it.

Signing off now…till next time, maybe it will be soon, maybe it won’t…you will have to keep looking to see.

Cynicism


So yet another crazy rant coming up, you can either get your tea (or hot chocolate for me please?!) and sit and read the ramblings of my weird brain or run away from this post. Its up to you but for those who are reading, beware cynicism waits.I have countless debates with people over the simple face of twitter. You see it’s a popular social networking tool which can revitalise people’s lives but at the same time, it is a mode of communication which can be beneficial depending on the primary reason it used for. I am not claiming to be anti-twitter because I use it myself whenever I feel like it, I don’t always use it as it is not my preferred social networking tool but I do like using it. However the news seems to be overrun with news of Twitter being used to abuse celebrities or even to joke about blowing up an airport. A simple joke can spiral into something much more serious than it is actually is. Everyone has different beliefs and views when it comes to bullying be it cyber or otherwise but I have seen with my own eyes, the abuse that some people are faced with on twitters and yet everyone I know who loves twitter merely dismisses it.

Lately I have started using Twitter more based on the fact that I am constantly debating its value, and one of my friends brought up a valid point; “How can you know what damage twitter does or doesn’t do if you don’t even use it?’. I took that to heart and decided that I needed to use it and reassess whether it is just my cynicism coming through or if it really is as pointless as I think it is. Hence why I have been using it for about 3 weeks lately, at the same level as my friends do, it got boring after a week but I carried on. I saw so many tweets about music and what they were eating which I guess is normal for them but weird for me. Why would anyone want to know exactly what you had? It’s not exactly riveting information and honestly who really gives a damn? If I wanted to know what you had to eat, I would ask!

Another thing that annoys me about Twitter is that if you are not part of a ‘following’ you are odd, well why the hell are you stuck to a screen all day talking about random and unnecessary crap, even the celebrities don’t do that so you just look completely daft. I like my computer time, its my free time to do whatever I want which is why I don’t tell people they shouldn’t do this or that, if you enjoy using twitter then feel free but there is one thing that really gets to me. When people start using twitter and pushing away their friends, they become distant and cold in some ways. Its like they have become a shadow of who they actually were, it is scary and painful to watch. All they care about is tweeting, its dangerous and frankly scares the hell out of me. I can’t understand why and then when I try to, I get attacked despite being completely reasonable. How does that work? Is that not bullying? It is just unprovoked especially when all you want is some answers to a question around a topic you really don’t get. If you are that much of an advocate of Twitter, then you should be happy to answer the questions instead of constantly attacking because someone doesn’t ‘get’ you.

I have to admit maybe I am just being cynical, nearly I talk to about it just rolls their eyes at me but I can’t shake the feeling that Twitter is damaging. I sound insane when I talk about it and there are only a few people I have actually got through to. Even then it is not a victory because it’s just my cynicism against a social networking tool. I am not naïve, I know for a fact that Twitter will have its user who use it for various different reason but that is no reason for me to like it, I just can’t see the point of using to broadcast my life to people. If I wanted people to know about my life, then I will tell them myself. This is just my view, I am pretty sure you will either agree or disagree and honestly I am not bothered if you agree or not, I am just putting my view out there. The rest of it is up to you.

Crazy lady signing off, till next time!