So hey there, what happens when you just struggle and struggle to finish a story you were so passionate about a few months ago.
I love my characters – Ella is as feisty as ever and Roman is still the complex dreamboat he always was but maybe I’ve fallen out of love with them. They’ve done everything, I’ve split them up, put them back together, changed things around, added family drama but maybe it’s time I retired them and worked on something new?
I know that half of this angst is due in part to people not reading the stories like they once did. It’s hard to get new readers when you’ve developed the fan fiction characters beyond the scope of the original character, even harder getting people to relate to it.
I’ve just written a chapter that should have been fun but each word felt like I was pulling teeth! Hard, complex, difficult. That’s been how it is to write these days. And without writing, I’m sitting here, kind of broken. Kind of lost. Very alone.
So, do I finish the dang* story or just move on?
Also, NanoWriMo, the write a novel in a month challenge, is fast approaching and so far I’ve failed at every attempt. I remember writing two full novel length stories consecutively inside three months and I just want to get back a little bit of that creative juice. My head is buzzing with ideas and I jot down bits and pieces but nothing sparks my interest long enough to develop it into a story.
I’m pretty sure I want to write.
I enjoy writing (for the most part).
But, am I done?
Okay, hands up, I’m guilty!
I have been neglecting my blog. I’ve been behind with my writing. I haven’t drafted a poem for the longest time.
There’s this thing, it’s called ‘Real Life’ and unfortunately, once you get it there is no cure.
In the UK we’ve had the Referendum, Brexit, and finally, an Election. When you are campaigning it’s very hard not to let things fall away and get neglected. My blog is a case in point and the other, my writing.
All of these is in conjunction with my personal circumstances. I won’t bore you with the details but suffice to say I’ve been completely swamped with negativity. I want to write, I’ve re-engaged with my Rola characters but actually sitting at the keyboard and getting it done is a different matter.
Now that I’ve taken a step back from the political stuff I want to get more time writing again. I’m also behind on posting on the various sites where my stories are. It feels like I’ve got a giant game of catch-up to play… watch this space!
It’s been a while, I’ve had a number of things going on. This blog got neglected just because I was busy with so many other things and then, after a long absence my characters started talking to me again.
I’d put my main character into a coma. I wasn’t even aware that I was going to do it but there she was lying on a hospital bed and….. then came the problem of how I did it, how was she going to recover, what was going to happen next…!
But then sitting down at the laptop I started plotting out the next chapter. Once I started working it the words flowed, albeit slowly, on to the page.
So finally, Chapter 42 of my Rola story ‘Ghost Sight’ has been posted.
Who knows the way this is going I just might start on Chapter 43!
Have you heard about Pinterest? Are you secretly addicted to Pinterest? Do you hide it from your friends?
Pinterest is a scrapbooking site where you can save pictures, fashion trends, decorating tips, hairstyle ideas, inspirational quotes, memes – just about anything you like really! On each picture, you save you can write notes or add information to it.
A number of author friends use the scrapbooking website to post inspiration topics and pictures for their writing and I thought it would be fun to use mine for my fan fic stories. I’ve started adding pictures of things that are in the stories. As I get it up to date with the stories I might even add small excerpts from the stories themselves!
Check it out:
Last night I was clicking around in an old folder full of my A363 Advanced Creative Writing notes and I cam across some pieces that I’d done back in 2012. It was strange to note how my writing style has changed over the years and although two of the stories were biographical they held a strange fascination for me. Like I was discovering treasure or the secrets of the universe.
I would share them but… well they are biographical.
At the moment I’m busy doing so many things that no day is the same for me. I’ve Beta read someone’s story (And as soon as it is published I’ll be advertising the heck out of it!), I’ve been reading.
I don’t know if I’ve mentioned that I’ve had a problem with reading. Stemming from my writing courses I’ve found that no matter what I’m reading I’ve got a tendency to edit as I read. Sometimes not even edit, in my head I’m re-writing whole chapters. Considering how much I love reading it is so annoying and frustrating that I can’t switch this off.
I’ve been doing some editing work too. I’ll definitely be telling you about this later. This is quite possibly the biggest think that I’ve done for ages. The biggest challenge I’ve taken on. It’s taken time, research, and the constant telling myself that I can do this. Fear is something that I’m currently living with! The dread in the pit of your stomach kind of fear that everything is going to go wrong in some way.
Instead of dwelling on this I’m putting the focus on the work. I’m encouraging people and guiding them. I’m not letting my fears hold me back as they have done in the past.
I don’t know why I’m not writing at the moment. I’m not sure if the story I’ve got going on has become boring to me in some way or if the lack of fans is putting me off. Although the view count is quite high there are fewer people commenting on my story. It’s off-putting. Still I can’t leave the characters in limbo forever so hopefully I’ll get back to it soon.
That’s all for now. Speak to you soon.
Oh, and feel free to comment below. It would be nice to connect with you…
Roman and Ella is an epic lovestory.
They refer to themselves as soulmates, sharing a connection on a spiritual plane. Often they have felt one other call out in dreams and their subconscious and reacted to it. Roman is logical, a fierce tactician whilst in the SAS he denies their other connection at first but later when he meets Ella in a dream whilst she is going through a near-death experience he admits to it.
Their romance relies not just on the above, there is a great passion between them as well as taking the form of kisses and hand-holding. The times that their relationship is failing or being tested they both admit it is the simple things they miss most. I’ve included this because not every touch between them should lead to sex.
Ella will stroke her hand down Roman’s back. For him this is a comfort thing, a reassurance that she’s there and they are together. If he is in a bad place the simple act of her touch will bring him back and give him proof that she still loves him.
There is a relaxed intimacy between them that continues in each story. For a couple that have been together as long as they have the physical side of a relationship can wain. To tackle this I have my couple ‘falling in love’ repeatedly. I have them rediscover each other emotionally and sexually. They’ll often ‘think’ or remark that it feels different between them, that it’s like being in love all over again.